"One Night Stands"

Talking about a sex life can be fun to a certain degree. Being pushed up against a wall, in the shower, on the hood of a car, in bed, with toys you name it you can have it. But how do you know when your passion becomes an addiction? Don't get me wrong I love my toys having my significant other fuck me while having a vibrator on my clit. Amazing! But do toys belong in the life of a Sex Addict? I have been talking to others and learning more about my addiction and as long as you and your partner are happy in bed than you should be able to do what you please! Most sexual addictions start from childhood... mine started because I didn't have a real father (he was married when my mother and him were together and he had six other children!). But not just that I was also molested by my step father at a young age... I really hate talking about that part of my life I am happy I finally got out of that house ! I have turned myself into a victim trying to make up for the past by turning sex into my main goal in life. Meaning to me Sex=love! It should never be this way at all and I am working at bettering myself no more one night stands no more "seeking" out someone better than what I have. The relationship I have with my partner is one to remember he loves me just me not the sex and cares so much for me that he wants to help. I can talk to him about anything, Conversation is the biggest part of any relationship. Friendship, love interest, family, if you don't have conversation that you have nothing. Just those awkward silent moments, I hate those... ! So Wednesday I am going to my first group session with other sex addicts... I am of course nervous but hopefully these will lead me down the right path! Wish me luck!

First Steps Towards Recovery

Joining an SAA meeting is harder than thought to be. Most are "closed" to the public which is a real eye sore. If you want people that have a problem to join make it easier we don't want to work at our addiction until we start seeking help. I have been trying (its not easy or cost efficient) I am seeing a therapist ($75/ hour ouch) Trying to get into an SLAA meeting (those are "open" and free but they expect a donation) and reading books on sexual addiction (try reading Lust Anger Love by Maureen Canning, MA, LMFT and Don't Call it Love by Patrick Carnes, PH.D). Also if you are in a relationship like I am, talk with your partner about your sexual frustrations. If its that you need more from your partner tell them or if you need help for your addiction tell them the truth if they love you they will stay and help as mine did. If not they were not worth your time to begin with. I feel that yes I am to blame for my actions and putting myself in situation where I will end up in another mans bed. But my childhood has a lot to do with wanting to feel in charge of the situation. I feel power over my sexuality causing me to want to find person after person telling myself I can stop when I want. Now is the time I admitted to my countless mistakes and am seeking help and wanting to show my fellow addicts that help is out there! Changing your addiction will be hard and a long road as mine will be but you must first want to change to be helped.